Why so sorry-ous?

You know it’s gonna be good when there’s a bad pun as early as the title.
Oh gosh…this one’s gonna be fun.

First things first. No, I didn’t forget about the annoyance post. Yes, I’m working on it. I’m truly sorry that it’s not out yet. It’s hard to write and it’s driving me crazy that it’s not published yet.

Second things secondly. This post shouldn’t be offensive (I think) so you shouuld be safe. (Or not. There’s no telling.)

This post is about me. I apologize more than anyone else I know. if someone says something went wrong at school or work, I apologize. If someone is being a jerk, I apologize. If someone can’t figure something out, I apologize. If you’ve been around me for more than about 20 minutes, you know this. If I say something, there’s a good chance I’ll follow up with an apology because I speak faster than I think. Quite often I’ll say somethhing and as I repeat it in my head 6,000 times, I over-process it and think of the 15 billion ways it could offend someone rather than the way they’re actually likely to take it. Sometimes I process what I’ve said so quickly that I’ll just say “I’m sorry, that was completely stupid of me.” without even pausing.

Here’s the explanation.
If I didn’t do anything and I apologize to you, accept it and move on. I know it’s not my fault. Please don’t say it’s not. Please don’t tell me it’s fine or okay. It’s clearly not. Think about it. I’m sorry can go more than one way.

1: I’m sorry for what I said or did.
2: I’m sorry for your loss.
3: I’m sorry that happened.
4: I’m sorry I can’t do anything.
5: Someone should apologize and no one else is so I might as well be the one to step up.

Why do we do this? I don’t know. Maybe we’re too nice, maybe we hate seeing people in pain. Maybe we’re more aware of emotions than others. Maybe we relate to their situation. Maybe we’re just the way we are and there is no logical explanation.
All I know is that there are people who are this way and I know that I am among them. (I also know that that sounded really weird. But I think I like it so I’m gonna leave it.)
If you know someone like this, I can guarantee that there is a possibility that they might agree with this. 😉

Here’s where it gets deep. Why can it be so hard to apologize? Even for those of us who apologize all the time about the little things, it can be hard to say we’re sorry.
But why?
The answer lies deep within us in ou–
Did you really think I had a cool scientific answer?

Well, I actually do. I did a bit of reading on the topic (thank you google) and now I’m gonna see if I can give a basic idea of what I gathered without absolutely demolishing it.
Basically, the article that I read says that most people have a hard time apologizing because it might make us appear weak, it might make us look bad, we might be misunderstood, it might make things accidentally worse, it could be damaging in some way, or it might fix something we’d rather dwell on.

Which sorta makes sense. I mean, I physically can not stay angry at someone. If somoene angers me and then apologizes, I have no problem because I assume they meant it. If they didn’t apologize or if they apologized but didn’t mean it, so what? I have better things to worry about. That’s their problem.
If I do something wrong, I do my best to make it right. The faster I can mend something and put it behind me, the less I have to worry about. I have enough things to worry about without knowing I said something stupid to Edlah last week without acknowledging it. However, if someone wrongs me in any way and neglets to apologize for whatever reason, I’m not gonna stew about it. I’m not gonna dwell on it and I’m not gonna talk bad about them behind their back. I honestly don’t care enough. I say that I make mistakes and forget stuff just as much as the next guy so why in the world should I be mad at Prangulous (prang-you-lis) for stepping on my foot and then walking off? Who cares? My foot isn’t broken, it’s bruised at the very most and I won’t be able to wear closed toed shoes for a week or two. (Thank goodness, I hate closed toed shoes.)
It’s not a big deal. It’s so not worth the time and effort and stress. It’s really not. Sure, your feelings were hurt. Yes, that matters. But does it really matter enough to worry about? Some people might say yes and that’s fine. I don’t understand that viewpoint (but I’d love to) but that’s not important. You’re entitled to your opinion as am I. We part ways without a big hoopla.
I fyou’re worried about making it worse, I honestly say that you most likely won’t mess it up more. If you do mess it up and the person really no longer likes you or wants to have anything to do with you, it’s possibly a good thing that you two are parting ways and maybe it’ll just be a temporary thing. But most likely, the person will accept your apology and move on. They might want a bit of time to get things back to normal, so you might not want to expect life to just snap back into place. (After all, that’s kind of a rare thing no matter what happens.)
Hopefully after reading this, you are an apologetic genuis and you can now conquer the whole entire world. But please don’t. I like it here. Well, not here here. Just — Earth. Earth is nice.

I think that about wraps it up for this jumble of words. I apologize for the completely scrambled layout, I’ve started and stopped this post at least four times and I can’t stay focused.

Also, I’m sorry for any spelling errors/gramatical errors (aside from the words I make up.) that I’ve made.

And I hope you know that you’re pretty much amazing and loved by someone somewhere. Which is pretty cool to think about.

I’ll stop now. xD
xx becca

(Slightly edited: 7/18/15)