Steadfast loyalty and unwavering fidelity.

The redundancy is strong with this post.

Today, I’m going to be talking about the importance of loyalty, trust, and the lack of both.

Just because someone gains your trust doesn’t give them a lifetime pass.  If they do something to lose your trust, there can be consequences and they may end up not only losing your trust, but also your respect.  Decisions always result in consequences.  Whether they’re good or bad depends on what path you choose.  This morning, I saw a quote that said “Life is a like a mirror.  When you smile at it, it smiles back.  When you frown, it frowns back.”  If you’re bitter and mean and hateful through life, that’s what people are going to give back and that’s what your life is going to reflect.  If you’re living for others, people are going to be inspired and uplifted.  You’ll reap what you’ve sown for the rest of your life.

Loyalty can be hard.  If you don’t particularly like someone but you’re obligated to be loyal to them for whatever reason, it can be difficult.  However, loyalty is just giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution.  It’s not about loving someone or caring about them.  It’s simply about doing, what could be, the “right” thing.  If you love or care about someone, it’s typically easier to be loyal to them.  That’s why steadfast and love are often used together.  It’s even in a prayer in the Methodist wedding service.

“Eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all life, Author of salvation, Giver of all grace: Bless and sanctify with your Holy Spirit Name and Name, who come now to join in marriage. Grant that they may give their vows to each other in the strength of your steadfast love. Enable them to grow in love and peace with you and with one another all their days, that they may reach out in concern and service to the world; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Unfortunately, as we are (most of us) humans, there are almost no references to humans having steadfast love.  Being human means we make mistakes.  We fall short.  We drop the ball.  It is extremely difficult, if not impossible for us to be dutifully firm and unwavering.  We’re not perfect, but we can try.  It’s not a waste of time or effort to try to be loving.  To show someone loyalty through love can be one of the most powerful things you can show someone.  To let them know you truly care and want the best for them by sticking with them no matter what happens.  You don’t have to be married to show someone that.  It’s easy to go straight to “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health” and so on when someone says no matter what.  But shouldn’t you show your fidelity in the same way?  Remaining loyal means not giving up.  If you’re truly loyal to someone, you won’t give up when you hit a speed bump.  You don’t get a divorce because your spouse tripped and fell and broke their arm.  In the same way, you don’t ditch a friend because they got into a bit of a rough spot.  Whether it was their fault or not, you’re there for them.

Trust is a complex concept.  Different people think in different ways.  This can make deciding who to trust, a formidable task.  While some people are straight up who they are what the circumstances, other people have shells or even layers.  Some people change depending on who they’re around, what the situation is, or even how they feel.  That doesn’t make them less trustworthy than someone who’s consistently the same.  It just means you might take longer to see them when they’re comfortably themselves.

Some people can always explain why they do something.  You ask and they have an immediate (or nearly so) response.  However, some people can’t explain.  You can give them weeks, months, years, but they’ll never be able to tell you why.  Some people are more emotional and live life according to their gut.  They don’t know why they did it, but they know it was an emotional response to however they felt.  It wasn’t the wrong thing to do, it just happened to be an emotional action rather than a rational one.

All of these things help you get to know a person and I suppose getting to know someone is the first step you take when deciding whether to let someone in and trust them or not.  You have to decide what’s best for you personally.  There’s not a set “good” that fits for everyone.  Otherwise we’d all be the same or I’d be writing a how-to guide on trusting the right people.  Some people need quiet people, others need loud.  Some people need people to take them seriously and some people need people who will get them to stop taking everything so seriously.  Some people need people to lead them and some people need people they can lead.  Everyone doesn’t deserve your trust, but that doesn’t mean no one does.  It’s up to you to decide who you need.  You won’t always need the same type of person and that means all your friends (likely) won’t be the same.  We’re not cookie cutter people.  Being different is okay.