Modest Journaling
5:07
Depression is a weird thing. I’ve been struggling with depression for almost ten years and I still don’t understand it. There was a time when all of the signs were the same and it followed a pattern and I really thought I understood my depression. I got better about understanding how to deal with it and how to keep it from becoming debilitating. I was impressed. Around November of last year, I noticed I wasn’t depressed anymore. I would always tell people, “for now. I don’t think I’ve cured it or anything, but for now it’s gone.” And it was. I wasn’t bothered for ages. I was happier than I’ve ever been before...
Read MoreI’m apparently a good actor.
Um… Apparently I appear confident. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m very insecure and I sorta tend to care what most people think. Now, I will admit that I frequently flaunt my sarcastic confidence and self absorbance, but tend to apologize afterward because I feel bad. If you think about that, it sounds really dumb. “I feel bad for feeling good about myself.” I am an odd person. I’m okay with that. I’ve accepted myself for who I am (most of the time) and I feel great being myself. Until I have to go outside. Usually, I get ready to go somewhere and as I’m in the car on the way I start having second thoughts. Well just...
Read MoreChivalry is not dead.
While you’re catcalling and being a generic player, the chivalrous gentleman to your left just got a girl. Oh — you thought that was your girl? No, if you’re a player you don’t get to claim her. See, he’s telling her she looks nice today and making her feel special and you just told her she looked hot and thew out some other generic slang. How charming. While he asks how she’s been and listening, you ask and then text that other girl. The one on the side. The one who thinks she’s the only one. The one who matters just as much as the one you’re ignoring now. You see, chivalry is not dead. It is asleep. And honestly, I...
Read MoreDear ladies, being a lady isn’t overrated.
Okay, I’m a girl. I often find myself ignoring the stereotypical things it takes to be a lady. By that I mean, I’m not the best mannered, I dress how I want to and that means wearing anything aside from jeans and a sweatshirt as minimally as possible, and I don’t like pink or pastels. See, I love it when guys are kind and generous and thoughtful and selfless and all that, but I’m a generally stubborn and impatient person. I can open the car door myself, why would I wait for you to do it? I can hold the door for you, please don’t be offended. I can walk with you, you don’t have to drop me off. I can open these things myself and carry...
Read MoreI fear change. (Also people.)
Wow, I really hate new things. New things absolutely blow up my anxiety. I fear new opportunities and I fear new situations. However, I fear failure and I’m scared of the idea of missing something drastically important in my life just because I was afraid. So I usually end up going with whatever it is and dealing with the crippling anxiety that goes along. Instead of worrying about the opportunity however, I begin worrying about the humans I’ll be interacting with as a direct result of saying yes and acting fearless. You see, I fear humans because (since I am one of them) I know what they’re capable of. I know what they can think, how they can feel,...
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